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* Biggest Mistakes Parents Make (#5) Parents Make Punishments Too Severe

Parents Make Punishments Too Severe

Ninety percent of parents believe spanking young children is acceptable. Discipline is about teaching; not punishment. The goal is to help the child to develop the inner voice of discernment and make choices based on that voice rather than  on the threat of punishment or the need to have supervision to make correct choices. Harsh punishments (ie. grounding for a month or spanking) work only in the short term and teach children to be unfair, create rightful anger and resentment towards the parent (which can undermine our influence over them), and teach them to use physical violence to solve problems. Discipline works best when it is immediate, fair, logical, or natural (or if it is set up in advance as an early warning to shift behavior). When discipline is too sever it breeds anger and resentment to get back at a parent, Punishment erodes the relationship with the parent. It is also important to realize there is a difference between facing consequences and punishment.  Facing consequences (that are fair and either logical or natural) are appropriate; punishment is not!